Happy New Year!
If your pets are having trouble coming up with some New Year’s
Resolutions, you can gently suggest some of these! At best, you’ll provide your furry ones with some comic relief.
Dogs:
• I resolve to lick my privates in…well, private.
• I resolve to show compassion toward my feline counterparts.
• I resolve to stay away from designer shoes and stick to department store brands (after all, these are supposed to be realistic).
• I resolve to refuse the broccoli little Johnny sneaks under the table at dinner—the boy needs it more than I do.
• I resolve to wait patiently and quietly when it’s time for a walk.
• I resolve to chase someone else’s tail for a change.
• I DO NOT resolve to avoid slobbering kisses all over you. There are some things you’ll just have to deal with because I love you.
Cats:
• I resolve to confine all claw action to the scratching post you lovingly bought me.
• I resolve to quit the “I’m starving” theatrics when you have friends over. I know I’m perfectly well fed.
• I resolve to tolerate my canine counterparts. “Tolerate,” not to be confused with “welcome.”
• I resolve to make myself useful. Maybe this year I’ll get off the couch and finally get that mouse!
• I resolve to respect your plants and picture frames.
• I resolve to allow your real alarm clock to go off instead of taking it upon myself to be your alarm.
• I DO NOT resolve to keep my ever shedding hair off your bed. I love you and you’ll have to deal with my wanting to be near you all night.
Here’s to a warm and fuzzy 2008 for you and your family members—the furry and the non!
Resolutions, you can gently suggest some of these! At best, you’ll provide your furry ones with some comic relief.
Dogs:
• I resolve to lick my privates in…well, private.
• I resolve to show compassion toward my feline counterparts.
• I resolve to stay away from designer shoes and stick to department store brands (after all, these are supposed to be realistic).
• I resolve to refuse the broccoli little Johnny sneaks under the table at dinner—the boy needs it more than I do.
• I resolve to wait patiently and quietly when it’s time for a walk.
• I resolve to chase someone else’s tail for a change.
• I DO NOT resolve to avoid slobbering kisses all over you. There are some things you’ll just have to deal with because I love you.
Cats:• I resolve to confine all claw action to the scratching post you lovingly bought me.
• I resolve to quit the “I’m starving” theatrics when you have friends over. I know I’m perfectly well fed.
• I resolve to tolerate my canine counterparts. “Tolerate,” not to be confused with “welcome.”
• I resolve to make myself useful. Maybe this year I’ll get off the couch and finally get that mouse!
• I resolve to respect your plants and picture frames.
• I resolve to allow your real alarm clock to go off instead of taking it upon myself to be your alarm.
• I DO NOT resolve to keep my ever shedding hair off your bed. I love you and you’ll have to deal with my wanting to be near you all night.
Here’s to a warm and fuzzy 2008 for you and your family members—the furry and the non!
Labels: Events
posted by ASPCA at 3:07 PM PERMALINK
8 Comments:
My cat will not stick to those and neither will my dogs but I thank you for the thougth
that is such a cue idea for pets
I can't belive that the aspca has me on their mailing list. Several years ago when I wanted to adopt, they didn't want anything to do with me. Now I get letters begging for money?
Those are good resolutions for me. I already do those things, except the licking privates. I admit, I do that - in public - even at home visits where I am being a boxer ambassador!
Congratulation for your activity and results! I wish you all the best for 2008!
IF ONLY MY ANIMALS COULD READ.....LOL
WHAT A TOTALLY PATHETIC COMMERCIAL YOU HAVE RUN ON TV. TALK ABOUT BLEEDING HEART LIBERALS AND A BLEEDING HEART CAUSE TO RAISE MONEY FOR SOME NON PROFIT GREEDY LIBERAL. THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO RAISE MONEY FOR A BLEEDING LIBERAL CAUSE I HAVE EVER SEEN.YOU PEOPLE ARE SAD AND PATHETIC. PUT THE EFFORT INTO HUMAN LIVES. GET YOU VALUES AND PRIORITIES STRAIGHT MAN.
this is for the comment above me
human lives??
a pathetic commerical??
yea right
incase u havent noticed ur on the aspca website wat do you thinks gonna be on here??
start worrying about animal lives and what the humans do to them!
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